Deception

There are some people that make a huge impact in your life. Some you will never forget because of the great things they’ve done for you. Unfortunately there are some people you’ll never forget but because of how badly they hurt you. You get the option to either hate them or forget them. But it is in the instant that you are so badly hurt and full of deception that you realize all you want to do is get them out of your life once and for all.

Society invented “the best friend” model to create an idea that a friend can be classified as a lab rat according to its performances. I actually am certain that a best friend comes with many qualities and imperfections too. What is not able to enter my mind, is the fact that how one person calls somebody his or her best friend and then hurts that person so bad she or he is afraid to trust anyone else? How can someone be so hypocrite to actually say he loves someone almost as a sibling and then when that person is vulnerable, he hurts his “best friend” in a terrible way?

Who I can call a best friend lives a thousand miles away. She is an amazing person and we share a lot of things in common. She is always there for me but distance is sometimes unbearable. I miss her a lot and I know she misses me too. What helps me a lot though is receiving her emails and talking to her even if it is for a short couple of hours, but I know she loves me as much as I love her. That’s a real friendship but yet again, distance makes us miss each other too much and that sometimes affect us.

The story here is that there is a person that calls me her best friend. She always tells everyone, but me, that I’m her best friend and that we are the greatest friends ever. I’ve done plenty of things for her. Everyone constantly ask why I do that and how can I, if she never does the same for me. It’s like that song from Bruno Mars, “Grenade”. “I would catch a grenade for you…you know I’d do anything for you, but you won’t do the same”.

It is very hard for me to open up and trust anyone. It is hard for me to open my heart and make up a big friendship. And it is even harder for me to tell someone I love him/her. Well with her everything changed. After a year or so, I learned to trust her and I opened up. She told me she loved me as a friend and after a couple of months I realized I really needed that kind of friend in my life and ended up saying the same. I told her almost everything and I liked to talk to her. We began talking like “best friends” do.

Every day after school I knew I would talk to her by phone, text or by an inbox. I genuinely cared for her and I really liked spending time with her. We were really good friends. At least, that was what I imagined for a while. After some years of being friends with her, everything changed. I knew she was getting into a lot of stuff and that I had to be with her no matter what. And that was what I did. I never judge her; I never prohibited things to her or forced her to do things she disliked.

 I really considered myself a great friend towards her and I knew I gave my all in that friendship. I realized she was not doing anything of this. She never helped me. She never showed gratuity. It was like if she loved everyone else but me. Every time we got into a fight she would just pretend everything was okay and didn’t show any interest in fixing things up. She just would let me be mad and see me cry without even caring. I helped her so much. So much and I know that I don’t regret helping her but it makes me furious how I was such a fool. She didn’t do anything wrong, she just didn’t do anything. I don’t know if we are friends or not anymore. I only know that I’m terribly hurt right now because of the realization that who called me her “best friend” never shared the same feeling or interest as I did.